— There it is, the Bridge of Death.
Robin : Oh, great.
Arthur : Look, there's the old man from scene 24.
Bedever : What is he doing here ?
Arthur : He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each traveler five questions.
Galahad : Three questions.
Arthur : Three questions. He who answers the five questions …
Galahad : Three questions.
Arthur : three questions, may cross in safety.
Galahad : What if you get a question wrong ?
Arthur : Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
— Oh, I won't go.
— Who’s going to answer the questions ?
Arthur : Sir Robin.
Robin : Yes?
Arthur : Brave Sir Robin, you go.
Robin : Hey, I've got a great idea, why doesn't Lancelot go ?
Lancelot : Yes, let me go, my liege, I will take it single-handed. I shall make a feint to the northeast.
Arthur : No, no, hang on hang on hang on, just answer the five questions.
— Three questions.
Arthur : three questions, as best you can and we shall watch and pray.
Lancelot : I understand, my liege.
Arthur : Good luck, brave Sir Lancelot, God be with you.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your name ?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest ?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your favourite colour ?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That’s easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I’m not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your name ?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest ?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What… is the capital of Assyria ?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don’t know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What… is your name ?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest ?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your favourite colour ?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel…
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What… is your name ?
King Arthur: It is ‘Arthur’, King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest ?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow
?
King Arthur: What do you mean ? An African or European swallow ?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I… I don’t know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows ?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you’re a king, you know.
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